BAD FRIDAY!

I had to work a double on Thursday and if I hadn't been able to sleep in, I might have gone on a real rampage.

Well-rested notwithstanding, I stumbled again on the dangers of this town when you have nothing to do and all your friends have left. It is possible to arrive at place of such boredom and loneliness that is demonstratively harmful to your psychological well-being.

Coping mechanisms:

1. The Movies... The theater is really really cheap here, but is ineffective if there's simply nothing good playing.

Two Christmas breaks ago, I think I rented every movie in Hastings. You get reward credit the earlier you return your movie. Sometimes I would make multiple trips in a single day.

I can't afford Netflixx but my friends who have it watch more movies than Roger Ebert.

Danger: you rent something depressing on accident and start feeling there's no goodness in life.

2. "Staying occupied" - read! write! clean! draw! sun tan! workout! JUST DO SOMETHING Problem: eventually, you reach the point of "who are we kidding, seriously?"

3. Drink
Danger: ***

4. Yesterday I tried... embracing every vice I could think of in the hopes that cheap thrills would divert me enough to make it to work.

Obviously, I did absolutely no school work whatsoever.

I was contemplating gorging myself on low quality pizza, but I knew my stomach would later take cruel revenge (probably while at work - there's no stall on the toilet in the men's restroom at O'Bannon's). Besides I needed some stuff, so I decided to see how much merchandise I could shoplift from Walmart.

Now, I am in no way some conscience-lacking, sticky-fingered rebel child out to fuck the man! Poor and bored, I just needed some new sunglasses and headphones. (This is my rationalization)

But it's true! The last time I shoplifted some condoms that "little voice" kept whispering in my head for six months until I returned to pay for them. We'll see this time around... but that was HEB and this is quite possibly the most evil corporation in existence. There was an element of aggression in my crimes.

Anyway, as I pulled up this silly girl was getting arrested for shoplifting... tee hee... I'm glad too, this way my adrenaline really got to pumping! I hope she learns her lesson!! Honestly, kids these days.



Approaching the self-check out (aka Mr. Pleasetakeourshit), I briefly met the gaze of the manager. I wonder if she read it in my eyes... I'm... about... to...

Sneakily, I put the glasses into the bag behind some hand soap... one fluid motion... and charged the bell peppers ($1.98/lbs) as bananas (44¢/lbs)... FREEDOM! I made it out the door!

Elated at all the money I saved, I skipped to my car [parked in the handicapped space... I was going for the gold] leering arrogantly at the police, slouched on the storefront wall, staring aimlessly into space out of their beady. little. eyes. "Want me to steal a donut for you guys?"

I guess it wasn't all gravy... the headphones kind of suck. Wouldn't it be funny if I returned them and got store credit!?

I don't think pursuing a life of debauchery is sustainable over the long term, but as a tourist into the realm of corrupt morals I found it added some cheap thrills to an otherwise mind-numbing day in College Station.